


Do it for the Vine

by deliciously_devient



Series: Doing it for the Vine [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, JUST, M/M, Steve is a little shit, This is crack, a slightly smaller one, dont look at this too closely k thanx, mostly - Freeform, sam is also a shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:18:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2000040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciously_devient/pseuds/deliciously_devient
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn't exactly sure what made everyone think he didn't know how to use modern technology, but when confronted with it for the first time, Steve's inner sarcastic asshole rose to the surface.<br/>“I don't know anything about modern appliances,” Steve said to Tony, and, somehow, the sarcasm in his tone flew straight over the billionaire's head.<br/>“Seriously, Cap? No one has taken the time to explain to you what a blender is?” Tony asked, horror coloring his tone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do it for the Vine

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by tumblr things....and...there's no excuse for it really.

He wasn't exactly sure what made everyone think he didn't know how to use modern technology, but when confronted with it for the first time, Steve's inner sarcastic asshole rose to the surface.  
“I don't know anything about modern appliances,” Steve said to Tony, and, somehow, the sarcasm in his tone flew straight over the billionaire's head.  
“Seriously, Cap? No one has taken the time to explain to you what a blender is?” Tony asked, horror coloring his tone.  
Steve decided to go with it, and he gave a half shrug and that “Aw, shucks” expression that got him out of paperwork with Coulson. “No. Too busy saving the world, you know.”  
That led to a two hour session in which Tony tried to teach Steve how to use a laptop, which had been one of the first things he'd learned how to do once out of the ice, and Steve doing everything he could to frustrate Tony with his apparent stupidity. Outwardly, he was wearing a frustrated expression, looking bewildered and lost. Inwardly, he was laughing his ass off and having the best time, at Tony's expense.  
He assumed that Natasha would inform Stark that he'd been duped, but, surprisingly enough, she seemed to think Steve was as hopelessly lost with tech as he had made himself out to be. Which, he supposed, was his fault for being such a meatball about it when he was terrorizing Stark.  
In fact, the whole team seemed to be unaware of how good he was with modern technology, and he even convinced them that he didn't know how to use the microwave, something even Thor had mastered, and he was particularly proud of that one.  
“Jarvis,” Steve called, a week into this bender of tricking his teammates. “What are your protocols on harmless pranks? Do you have to tell Tony?”  
There was silence for a moment, and when Jarvis answered, he sounded contemplative. “I have no current protocols on hiding information from Sir, barring that it affects his health or may harm him or the Avengers in some way.”  
Steve's grin was sharklike, and he pulled out the video camera he had bought that day, and set it up on the neat little desktop tripod he had purchased to go with it. “How do you feel about hiding a series of YouTube videos and all subsequent internet chatter about those videos from Tony and the team?”  
There was a hint of amusement in Jarvis's voice when he answered. “I would be delighted, Captain.”  
__

Three hours later, Steve was looking at himself onscreen, watching the view count on his first video shoot up from one, to thirty, to a hundred and so on.

_“Hello there, internet. As most of you might know, my name is Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, and I am the leader of the Avengers. What most of you probably don't know, however, is that the other Avengers, for whatever reason, have assumed that I didn't take the time to learn how to use modern technology. As of today, they think I don't know how to use a microwave, a blender, a modern gas stove, the fancy refrigerator Tony made that criticizes your eating habits, and they're all convinced I'm terrified of anything that connects to the internet.  
I have the help of Tony's AI to hide the presence of these videos from the rest of the team; let's see how long it takes them to realize I'm actually a troll, shall we?”_

Steve was pretty proud of the video, and the way it was blowing up already. Every time he refreshed the page, another few thousand views popped up on the screen and he knew this was going to be great. The longer it went on, he decided, the better the reveal would be, and he took a moment to stew in his own glory.  
Two hours after he had posted the video, his cell began to ring, and he looked down at the grinning face of Sam Wilson.

“Steve, you sly son of a bitch,” were the first words Sam uttered, and Steve was laughing instantly.

“So you saw the video?” he asked between videos.

“Saw it? I've been laughing my ass off for the past ten minutes, along with the rest of the internet,” Sam said gleefully, and Steve felt a sort of elation at being able to share his diabolicalness with.

“How long do you think I can keep them going for?” Steve asked, grinning. 

“I don't know, a month? Two months?”

Steve considered for a moment, and then jumped when he heard the soft ding that meant someone was headed towards his floor. “Gotta go, someone's coming. Drinks tonight?”

“Sure. See ya later.”

Steve ended the call and scrambled, shoving his phone, camera and laptop into the drawer of his desk and slapping his sketchbook down on the surface just as Tony barged in, a tablet in hand and a determined look on his face.

“Alright Cap, shove off with that paper monstrosity, I'm teaching you to use Photoshop today,” he said, and Steve let a pinched expression overtake his face.

“Tooonyyyy,” he whined. “You already tried to shove tech down my throat once today, can we just not and say we did?”

Tony didn't looked swayed, and Steve really did have other things to do, so he cornered the billionaire with the full force of his puppy dog eyes. Tony blinked, shook his head slightly, and looked as if he wanted to reconsider for a moment, but then his expression firmed again.

“Nope, you're not getting out of this. I will teach you if it's the last thing I do.”

Photoshop was like the first thing I learned, are my teammates really this dumb, Steve thought uncharitably, and heaved a sigh, and settled in to infuriate Tony.


End file.
